Wedge
06-29-2004, 05:32 PM
Found this posted on the MCO board. I especially like the grocery store one. I do that with shopping carts all the time!
-You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
-You take your helmet along when you go buy new eyeglasses or check out cars (seats).
-You are happiest when your car's tires are worn to racing depth (wear bars showing).
-When something falls off your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
-You really enjoy showing the tailgater how to drive around a highway off ramp.
-Your racing budget is one of the big three - mortgage, car payments, dating.
-Your email address refers to your car rather than you.
-You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
-You have paid $4 for a gallon of fuel without complaining.
-You buy new parts because you can't remember where you stuck the spares.
-You bought a racecar before buying a house.
-You bought a racecar before furniture for the house.
-You are looking for a tow vehicle and you still have not bought furniture.
-You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
-The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1. 8-car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2. 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage.
4. A grease pit.
5. Deaf neighbors.
7. Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of tires that could have been purchased.
- You sit in your car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
-You look at the purchase of tools as a long-term investment.
-Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
-You have enough spare parts to build another car.
-You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
-You're registered for wedding gifts at Auto Zone, Pep Boys and NAPA.
-You meet someone who looks familiar, but can't place them until they tell you what kind of car they drive.
-Your Christmas list begins with a set of Falken Azenis (bonus points if your spouse knows what they are)
-Your bathroom reading material is SportsCar, Grassroots Motorsports and Top End.
-People only recognize you when you have your helmet on.
-You talk to other cars on the road calling them by their manufacturers name.
-Your first date involves you getting her/him to crew for you.
-Your family vacations are planned around Divisionals and Nationals.
-You astound the clerk at Sears by breaking a breaker bar every week or two.
-You remember the dates of every race you have entered, but can't remember the wife's birthday.
-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don't stay on their line causing your exit speed to drop.
-A neighbor asks to borrow some oil and you reply "Synthetic?" he responds "Vegetable".
-You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.
-You always-late apex the intersection.
-You can't stand under steer.
-You think traction control and ABS is for those who do not know how to drive.
-The local tire shop will not honor the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of.
-You consider the redline as a conservative suggestion and the rev limiter as a fun limiter.
-You know the "racing line" of every road on your daily commute.
-You have started looking for sponsors for your daily commute?
-You have slalomed in a construction zone and counted penalty points in the rear view mirror.
and finally...
-You know the 1/4 mile times for your riding lawnmower. And you want to improve them.
-You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
-You take your helmet along when you go buy new eyeglasses or check out cars (seats).
-You are happiest when your car's tires are worn to racing depth (wear bars showing).
-When something falls off your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
-You really enjoy showing the tailgater how to drive around a highway off ramp.
-Your racing budget is one of the big three - mortgage, car payments, dating.
-Your email address refers to your car rather than you.
-You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
-You have paid $4 for a gallon of fuel without complaining.
-You buy new parts because you can't remember where you stuck the spares.
-You bought a racecar before buying a house.
-You bought a racecar before furniture for the house.
-You are looking for a tow vehicle and you still have not bought furniture.
-You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
-The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1. 8-car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2. 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage.
4. A grease pit.
5. Deaf neighbors.
7. Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of tires that could have been purchased.
- You sit in your car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
-You look at the purchase of tools as a long-term investment.
-Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
-You have enough spare parts to build another car.
-You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
-You're registered for wedding gifts at Auto Zone, Pep Boys and NAPA.
-You meet someone who looks familiar, but can't place them until they tell you what kind of car they drive.
-Your Christmas list begins with a set of Falken Azenis (bonus points if your spouse knows what they are)
-Your bathroom reading material is SportsCar, Grassroots Motorsports and Top End.
-People only recognize you when you have your helmet on.
-You talk to other cars on the road calling them by their manufacturers name.
-Your first date involves you getting her/him to crew for you.
-Your family vacations are planned around Divisionals and Nationals.
-You astound the clerk at Sears by breaking a breaker bar every week or two.
-You remember the dates of every race you have entered, but can't remember the wife's birthday.
-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don't stay on their line causing your exit speed to drop.
-A neighbor asks to borrow some oil and you reply "Synthetic?" he responds "Vegetable".
-You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.
-You always-late apex the intersection.
-You can't stand under steer.
-You think traction control and ABS is for those who do not know how to drive.
-The local tire shop will not honor the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of.
-You consider the redline as a conservative suggestion and the rev limiter as a fun limiter.
-You know the "racing line" of every road on your daily commute.
-You have started looking for sponsors for your daily commute?
-You have slalomed in a construction zone and counted penalty points in the rear view mirror.
and finally...
-You know the 1/4 mile times for your riding lawnmower. And you want to improve them.